Researchers Discover Six New Branches of Government

There has been a buzz on Capitol Hill in recent days not seen since Joe Kennedy installed a mechanical bull on the floor of the Senate. The discovery by Dick Cheney that the Vice President’s office constitutes a fourth branch of government has triggered a flurry of projects and papers by government researchers. As in the heady days of the discovery of high-temperature superconductors, new announcements are coming in by the day. In such a fast-changing environment, information becomes outdated almost as soon as it is posted. However, as of the writing of this post, six additional branches of government have been announced by D.C. researchers, bringing the unofficial total to ten:

1) The House Sergeant-at-Arms (part executive, part legislative)

2) Military Tribunals (part judge, part jury, part executioner)

3) Ted Kennedy between the hours of 10 pm and 3 am (part legislative, part drunk)

4) The Jefferson Memorial (via loophole, governed by neither Congress nor the President, but by groundskeeper Thaddeus Hatch)

5) Project Stargate (part executive, part woo-woo)

6) The US Den of Espionage (neither executive, legislative, nor judicial)

We here at AO will bring you further updates as they come in.

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2 Comments

Filed under Humor, Politics

2 responses to “Researchers Discover Six New Branches of Government

  1. Funny stuff. You’re almost too clever, I wonder how many surfers will read this straight and take you seriously.

  2. Fredegar is indeed almost too clever for this otherwise mortal coil. Read and enjoy, you don’t find many like him.

    As he’s a co-editor, and due to my ineffable but circumstantial loyalty to the good old U.S. of A, I hereby disclaim all of Fredegar’s political opinions but welcome all of his commentary offered in good taste (which I expect is 99% of it).

    Lime

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