In the complaint below, filed by Jonathan Lee Riches©, currently residing at the Federal Correctional Institution Williamsburg, Mr. Vick is accused of, inter alia, violations of the United States Constitution, larceny of Mr. Riches© dog and coat, invasion of privacy, identity theft, violations of the Trading with the Enemy Act, and violations of the Copyright Law of the United States. (Note: for some unknown reason, Mr. Riches© has copyrighted his name. Sounds like a good idea.) Mr. Riches© also accuses Mr. Vick of subjecting him to microwave testing, dealing drugs in a school zone, and using steroids.
Compelling draftsmanship and a treatise on civil actions, please enjoy.
On Page 2, Mr. Riches© sets forth his constitutional basis for his cause of action, makes a request for “63,000,000,00.00 Billion dollars,” and conflates the United States Postal Service with United Parcel Service.